“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” –Maya Angelou
I’ve been itching to tell stories. And since my skin is getting worse due to redness (of course, I kid), get ready for this relatively long post. (Spare me, it’s my birthday month!)
Yesterday, 16th of December 2012, I celebrated my 23rd birthday. Oh yes! I am 23 years old now! Wuhoo! What better way to start my day than to attend the first day of the Misa de Gallo or Simbang Gabi! Although I lacked sleep that Saturday evening, I still managed to wake up early and rush to our parish church and be surprised with the overwhelmingly large number of people, especially children and teenagers. Some were already outside up until the patio.
I didn’t want to hear Mass outside the church so I sneaked inside the sardines of attendees and, realizing I couldn’t get a seat anymore, I found my spot at the back part beside a statue of a saint. At first, I didn’t know who the saint was. But eventually, I was delighted to know that it was the image of St. Jude Thaddeus, my favorite saint, the patron of desperate hopes. “Ha! Perfect! We’re really meant to be,” I said to myself. (I remember wondering to a friend the night before how things could be related to each other. Everything happens for a reason, eh?)
When I got home, I opened the Bible and searched for the book of Job, where Mama got my name and my sisters’. Specifically, it is in Job Chapter 42. This is also where I based the name of this blog—Turtle Keziah. I always consider Keziah the origin of my name, which means precious perfume (the reason for my blog tagline).
Verses 13-14: “…he had…three daughters, of whom he called the first Jemimah,
the second Keziah, and the third Kerenhappuch.”
“Job’s daughters had names symbolic of their charms: Jemimah, dove; Keziah, precious perfume…”
I also read Our Daily Bread, a daily Bible guide, and of course, prayed the Prayer to St. Jude Thaddeus. For the longest time now, reading Our Daily Bread and praying the Prayer to St. Jude have been my routine every morning. I feel incomplete somehow when I couldn’t do both.
After spending some time in front of Sparkee and replying to all greetings as well as on SMS, I slept. Yup! I just slept and rested, thinking I should make up from all the sleep I’d been losing.
Later that day, Mama and my two sisters helped each other to cook spaghetti for me. It was indeed just a simple and quiet celebration but it meant a lot.
Spaghetti for my birthday!!!!
Then, my elder sister asked me, “Kring, ano’ng wish mo?” (“Kring, what’s your wish?”) That question actually shocked me because I didn’t know what to answer her. I knew I prayed for something while I was in the church but I thought I hadn’t been specific. I told her about what I prayed in the Mass and what I posted in FB the day before: “My wish is for all my dreams to come true.” Ate May wasn’t satisfied with my answer. She said it had to be a wish for the day. Well, I just smiled at her and said nothing.
Obviously, I really didn’t have a birthday wish. I had a birthday wish before but I thought it to be soooo ridiculously impossible and selfish as well. But, yup, as I person who is jobless right now and who is in the stage of fixing her life and planning her next year, I really pray, hope, and wish that all my dreams will come true.
This leads me to share one of the urgent dreams that I wish to reach (when I say urgent, I mean ASAP). That is to give everyone a copy of my attempt to a fictional piece. I admit, as a writer, that writing fiction (a short story or novel) is my number one weakness. But inspired by the writing workshop that I attended last May 2012, I tried my best to fabricate my story.
I actually plan to give some of my friends a copy of the manuscript by yesterday but, with all apologies, I am not yet done although I’m already near the end. I’ve been telling myself of my deadline but, again sorry, I wasn’t able to make it.
But then, since I am determined to reach this dream, I will do my best to finish it by this week. Should I make a promise? Hoho! I’m in for a challenge. All righty!
Let me give everyone a teaser then. The story is entitled Between Love and Felicity. I’ve been using the hash tag #BLF in some of my tweets containing one-line excerpts from it. Well, this is it, friends—the mystery behind the hash tag. It’s the title of my story which will be in full blown version soon (really, really soon).
The story is basically about Aldrin, a guy who wants to move on from his secret crazy past and live normally. Eventually, he thinks he has moved on. But in his “normal” life, he encounters Felicity who reminds him so much of that secret past. He tries to battle it out but he keeps on losing. He has to choose. What is a man to do in this confusion? Soon!
What is so weird, disturbing, and at the same time interesting about this story is that there are some events and details in it that took place and I’ve known about in reality long after I’ve written them. That’s why I was really wondering about how things could be so connected to each other, why ideas and reality would be the same. Why have I written them first before they actually happened? The answer is I don’t know. Just like my birthday wish, it cannot be specific.
Well, we will all see. As for any fictional work, everything is a coincidence with reality. But for me who believes that everything happens for a reason, I will just have to stand by and watch out. Again, this is just an attempt, a dream that I want to share and be read by anyone. It might not be as polished as the published ones in the book store but I still hope to get as much feedback for improvement.
Thanks again to all those who greeted me on my special day! Please tune in for more of BLF!