Mom’s Perfect Role

After posting my Mother’s Day greetings on Facebook and Twitter, I stumbled upon this post by National Book Store quoting Mitch Albom, the author of For One More Day. It says,

“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begin.”

Then I remembered an essay I wrote in one of my exams in my journalism class back in college. Since it’s Mother’s Day today, let me share Mama’s perfect role. Below is the essay’s full transcription. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers!

Mom’s Perfect Role

Standing up for me–this is the best thing my mother does. She does it every minute of my life. Since the day I finished reading Mitch Albom’s For One More Day, which talks about a son’s relationship with his mother, standing up for me became the perfect role to term a mother’s love.

In the novel, the writer collected and shared to its readers the “Times my mother stood up for me” and the “Times I didn’t stand up for my mother.” If only the book tells my story, I would have the same collection in between the chapters. On one time that my mother stood up for me, I just thought of it as a simple, plain, ordinary experience but ironically, it was the experience I cannot take off my mind until now. Maybe because it was the first experience that I actually jotted down and saved.

The rainy month of July left me stranded in Miriam College one dismissal time. I got no umbrella, no jacket. I waited for a tricycle but I still needed an umbrella to eventually get home or I’ll be drenched. What I got is my phone and it was Mama whom I sent an SMS to, trying my luck if she’s on her way home from somewhere. Lucky enough, she’s on her way home from Cubao and she even suggested that she can pick me up at Mini Stop. The day ended with my realization.

Even if we’d still get soaked because of the rain and we’d end up spending double for jeepney fare, Mama still chose to fetch me and not neglect me and let me suffer because I already lost a lot of umbrellas. She still chose to stand up for me and until now, she never fails to do so.

Standing up for me is Mama’s perfect role and I love her for it. It’s her perfect role that inspires me to stand up for her too.

~KRZ

Days with Mariko: A Birthday Tribute

One day, my feet landed on the 26th floor of Cyberone Building in Eastwood City. It was my first day of training in my second job. I had my bag checked-in and signed up on the guard’s list. I went inside the office and headed to the training room. At the door, I found myself with a companion. Another trainee was with me. He smiled and said, “Should we go in?” I smiled back. He turned the knob and the door swung open. He gestured his hand like a gentleman wanting the lady to go inside first. That was the start of everything. He was my first seatmate in training and he was my partner during the introductions. He introduced me to our batch mates and I introduced him to them. I found out that he worked in Malaysia for 5 months and that he has a relatively big tattoo on his upper back which says, “Only God Can Judge Me.” Not only did he become a companion at the door, seatmate, and partner in training, but he also became a teammate and a very good friend. Meet the birthday celebrant this 9th of May, Joseph Mariko Magno.

Days with Mariko (2012)

When Mariko accepted my friend request on Facebook, I found out he’s a chef. Yup, that’s what I call him! For me, he is a chef because he does one thing best–he cooks. He cooks and takes pictures of his masterpieces. For the record, he is my first chef friend (if that’s the right term). Curious that I was, I asked him tons of questions about his love for cooking in a random conversation one afternoon at Krispy Kreme in Cybermall.

Aussie T-Bone Steak with Steamed French Beans, Garlic- Cheese Fries, and Onion Rings; and Grape Fruit Shake by Joseph Mariko Magno (2012): The first photo I liked in his FB album

Mariko started to be curious about cooking at home. He would watch his mother cook meals in their kitchen and he would experiment on some recipes he would find in cook books. As a learner, he experienced them all—he was cut and he was burned. But as he said, “Wala pang cook or chef na hindi pa napaso, nahiwa, at natalsikan ng mantika.” So true!

I was surprised to know that his first course was actually Computer Science. He took this during the time when ComSci was the “most famous” course. Her mother was also afraid that he would experience the same tragic fate that their relative went through when he took up HRM—the course related to cooking. Unfortunately and fortunately, he failed in ComSci and he thought of it as a sign for him to shift to another course. When he finally shifted to HRM, his cooking life became remarkable. A group thesis in baking encouraged him to take pictures of his group’s works.

As he mentioned on the first day we met, he worked in Malaysia for 5 months as his first job. It was in Hard Rock Café in Penang, Malaysia, which exposed him to more kitchen stress. He went back to the Philippines because of homesickness. Poor Mariko, he lived alone in Penang. Of course, he also said that it’s more fun in the Philippines.

He returned to the Philippines and that’s when he started dieting and cooking for his friends. He would cook and plate a dish, take a picture of it, and give it to his friends, helpers, or even to his dogs. That was how extreme his diet was. I remember when we spent lunch time together; he would only have Coke float and cigarettes. All I could say back then was “Great!”

He prefers cooking more than baking. He said that cooking can be manipulated based on his own style. Baking, as he said, is stricter. The standard must be followed or else bread will not be bread.

I actually felt hungry when I first saw Mariko’s food posts in FB and dreamt of having a taste if his masterpieces. Dreams do come true because one morning, he invited our team to a breakfast in his humble abode. Of course, the breakfast was cooked and prepared by him. He served pancakes topped with chocolate syrup and sprinkles; fried cheesedog with tomato garnish; coffee with marshmallows, rice crispies, and nutmeg; and, for course, water with lemon (which he said is a simple way to transform ordinary water to alkaline water).

One morning. One set of beautiful breakfast. One great chef.

On another day, he also brought sausage and pancakes with berries for breakfast which he shared to us in the office. Even though I declined his offer at first because I already had breakfast that morning, he still left some sausage and pancakes out for me. Of course, I ate it when I already felt hungry. He’s just so sweet!

Mariko is that thoughtful. One day, he just bought my favorite Mcdo fries and Mentos Rainbow for me. He said that he likes making people happy the least they expect. Not only did he shared food, he also shared his favorite music. I remember him whenever I hear “Stuttering” by Jessica Sanchez and a certain Korean song performed by Dae Sung of Big Bang.

Simple things, memorable moments…

This post would take forever if I recount all the memorable and random days I had with Mariko. But overall, I can say that he is a person full of talent, full of passion, and full of dreams that are sure to come true. I once told him that I look  forward to the day that I would be entering a restaurant where his name is labeled on every dish. Don’t be pressured, dear Mariko. I know that will happen. Amen.

One day, some months after we both rendered our resignation from the company where we first met, I entered McDonald’s Eastwood alone, sat down on a table and opened my book. After a few minutes, my phone rang… It was Mariko. Happy that he called, I smiled. But his news brought a dash of sadness in my heart. He called to invite me in another moment in Krispy Kreme Cybermall because he would already leave for the States. Yeah, I knew that would happen. It was his dream.

For the last time, I sat with Mariko in the same spot where he would check out his crushes, smoke a stick or two, drink his iced tea, and chat with me. In that last moment, he treated me a cup of hot mocha and honey-glazed doughnut. Although it was just a simple get together, like the random ones we had in the short five months of being friends, it was still as memorable.

Today, he’s so far away, but still, he feels near with his memories and his Twitter and FB posts. But, of course, today is like no other because IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY! I’ve said so much in this post as birthday gifts but beyond all these, I pray that he will be blessed more of the sweet life he is enjoying. I love you, friend! Maligayang kaarawan! Enjoy this very special day!

~KRZ

Asians Got The Talents: My 3 Dramas

I love Asian dramas. Why? First, it’s because I am Asian. Second, there are Asian dramas with super great stories. I recall again what my film professor told us in college that a movie (or drama) is effective when the story can be delivered even without lines. This leads me to my third reason why I love Asian dramas. There are super great Asian actors who can play roles and convey different emotions even without words.

Last 2011, I featured the Korean actor No Min Woo here because of his immense talents especially when I first watched him play Park Dong Joo in the Korean drama “My Girlfriend is a Gumiho.” I remember being hooked to that drama because of the great story and No Min Woo’s great acting as well.

Earlier this 2013, I was again hooked and affected by another Korean drama entitled “Innocent Man” because of the great plot, wonderful use of symbols, beautiful script, excellent soundtrack, and of course, because of the award-winning actor Song Joong Ki who played the lead role, Kang Ma Roo. No wonder it got a high rating in Korea, the artists there received awards, and it will be shown in GMA 7 here in the Philippines soon. Watch out for that, Korean drama fans! I won’t put any spoiler here. Haha!

For the third time, I was captivated by another Korean drama just recently. It is entitled “I Miss You” or “Missing You” which is a love story of two teenagers (Lee Su Yeon and Han Jung Woo), coming from two different problem-stricken families. They get separated due to the interference of the conflicts among Han Jung Woo’s family members. After 14 years, Su Yeon comes back to Korea from France as Zoe Lou, a fashion designer, who is the girlfriend of a millionaire named Harry Borrison, whose real name is Kang Hyeong Jun, Jung Woo’s unknown uncle. That’s it! No more spoilers! Haha!

Aside from, again, the great twists and turns of the story, I was hooked because of the villain character who is Harry Borrison/Kang Hyeong Jun played by the young actor Yoo Seung Ho.

Yoo Seung Ho as Harry Borrison/Kang Hyeong Jun (Retrieved from http://higasa.wordpress.com/2013/01/19/pic-i-miss-you-harry-borrison-_-yoo-seung-ho/)

I admit it, he is good looking (just like No Min Woo and Song Joong Ki). But what I also love about Yoo Seung Ho is the way he portrayed the complicated characters of Harry Borrison. He starts out as this loving and calm boyfriend of Su Yeon. He smiles, he laughs, and he’s just so sweet. But through the course of the story, he shows his anger, fear, and hatred through his scary stares, evil smiles and laughs, and his tears. He is very versatile. He can act even without the script. And I just love his character even if he’s the villain. I think this was how I liked No Min Woo as Park Dong Joo back then. Why do I always get attracted to the villain, eh? Haha! I don’t know!

Right now, I’m looking forward to watch one of Song Joong Ki’s movies entitled “A Werewolf Boy” which I think has earned much acclaims. Well, what can I expect, he is an award-winning actor! I’ve also watched one of Yoo Seung Ho’s past movies but it didn’t affect me that much. Hehe. Maybe because he was still very very young in that movie and it was just for two hours compared to the drama’s 21 episodes. But nonetheless, he still showed great acting in that movie.

So far, these three dramas, My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, Innocent Man, and I Miss You or Missing You, are the top Asian dramas in my mind. For me, these are the dramas that portrayed so much of what Asians do best–to captivate the heart, to wow the crowd, to conquer the world!

More of great Asian talents soon!

~KRZ

What’s Next?

It started with a short story writing workshop last May 2012. At the same time, I was so in love with a former office mate that I was able to come up with a story inspired mostly by him. I thought back then that it was just a way to express myself. It was my way of confessing. And it was just a way to utilize what I learned in the workshop. Nothing serious about it. I even thought of giving it to him for his birthday. But even though he didn’t react when I sent him a PDF file of it after launching it in December 2012, I didn’t give a damn.

That’s basically where the attempted version of Between Love and Felicity came from. I sent a BLF PDF file to people in my email contacts, posted the whole thing here in T.K., and shared it through Facebook and Twitter. What was my goal? Nothing big. I just wanted people to read it and I just wanted to know what they think of it. And from their comments, then I would improve it. Well, if I had the time. If they didn’t react, then I wouldn’t do anything about it. I would just leave it as it was.

February 2013 came and I finally gave up on this former office mate (as if I was a suitor). I thought it was just a waste of time. So I totally forgot about him and I just focused on my work and what I have to do with my own life. I also totally forgot about improving BLF. I wasn’t receiving any feedback anyway.

March 15, 2013 arrived and a writing coach sent me a feedback email on BLF. He was one of the workshop instructors in the writing workshop I joined last May. He even apologized for replying late. Of course, it’s totally fine. I felt happy that, finally, someone took the time to read it and give comments and suggestions. What struck me most was when he said:

“I hope you do not find it too grand a project to turn this into a novel because I believe that you have the imagination and the stamina to turn it into one.”

WOW! Just WOW! I told myself, “Really? Do I have the imagination and the stamina?” (Lack of confidence here! Huhu!) And while I was typing my reply, I was reminded of this song by Code Red:

“What good is a heart if you’re not gonna use it? What good is a love if you’re too scared to choose it? If your heart is beating, then it’s for a reason. If you’re not even willing to start, what good is a heart?”

The song was right. How can I say that I love writing, that writing is my first love, if I was too scared to let it all out, if I don’t have the confidence and guts to pursue it? Well, maybe this could be the start. Enough of all the excuses. Enough of all the thinking that I wish I could be Jeff Goins, Chris Guillebeau, Nina Terol-Zialcita, Neil Gaiman, AA Patawaran, etc. Enough of all the dreaming. I SHOULD START WORKING.

I was motivated to work my ass out even without the original inspiration. I thought, hey, I could find more inspiration from somewhere else. Since I am already a teacher, I could put more of my recent experiences in the story. It could also give me the opportunity to travel to the seaside again, to read more, to watch more, and to listen more. Inspiration is always available.

I also have decided that improving BLF is no longer for anyone in particular. It is for my craft, my writing skill, and my love for writing alone. Any affirmation or recognition it will hopefully receive in the future will just be the extras. But for now, it’s for me. It’s a journey that I am willing to take for the sake of the talent I have since I was 5 years old.

That’s why I’d like to thank Joachim “Joem” Antonio of Sining Bodega for replying to my email and inspiring me to keep going and not just to let BLF sit in my blog and in Sparkee’s hard disk, and rot forever.

Thanks to my former school mate Myla Nulla for her Facebook message that came afterwards. Thanks to all those who liked it on Facebook, Twitter, and here in T.K. since December. Thanks to all those who showed interest even in the slightest degree. And to those who wish to see me for some BLF talk, I promise to schedule that as soon as possible.

So WHAT’S NEXT?

Last week, I printed out a hard copy of BLF and started doodling on it using my favorite pen. Literature is always best hard. I also started to give my after work hours to stop by somewhere and just write and edit before going home. I don’t care if I look like a job applicant with my green envelope with me most of the time. Haha! I don’t know how long will it take me to turn the novelette BLF to a novel BLF but it’s best to get started now… or waste forever!

And, yeah, what’s next? I must end this post and start improving. Aja fighting! Ganbatte!

~KRZ

The Firsts (It’s OK to be sad.)

We always remember the firsts–first kiss, first dance, first love, first job, our birthplace. For the record, it’s been the third time now that a first became so memorable… and yet became one of the reasons for the first major sadness of the start of this year.

When I worked for a publishing company as my first job, the first person to send me a personal iChat message became one of my dearest friends. How could I forget that person? He was like a brother to me from the very start. Up until now, he never stops being one of my strengths.

When I transferred to an airline call center, the first person who became my first seatmate on the first day of training became one of my dearest friends as well. He was very nice and supportive since that day and up until now that he would be leaving for the States, he made sure to spend some time with me. I hope our chitchat session yesterday afternoon won’t be the last.

In January this year, another first became part of my first full-time teaching career. He was the first teacher to send me an IM welcoming me on my first day of class, asking me questions, and so on. And I knew that day that he would be another memorable first. For a newbie like me, I really appreciate those simple things.

But, eventually, I guess I was wrong. He could be a first but not someone I should remember. For the first time in my life, I encountered someone who was unbelievably inconsistent. Who would be sane enough to initiate friendly conversations with me then just ignore me completely later on especially when we meet face to face? What’s up with that? I know I shouldn’t really care but I couldn’t help it because it was a first—the first time that this kind of inconsistency became way too extreme, making me crazy, embarrassed, and frustrated. I could just let it slip but I don’t know why I was so affected. I really don’t know.

Maybe that’s really the problem with technology right now. People can become the friendliest through the Internet or through SMS but they are truly very opposite in person. Why? Why do people need to invent a different version of themselves in another platform?

Well, I think I can’t blame them also. People have differences and I think I’m just used to being super real. I am real. I don’t like pretensions. If I’m happy online, I’m happy in person as well. Everything must be consistent. I hate lies. But there are just other people who are afraid of showing who they really are. They have reasons. And I respect them.

It’s OK to be sad.

This experience, together with some other more negative happenings this week, paved way to the very first time I entertained sadness in my system. It’s not that I’ve lost the zest to be happy all the time despite everything but I guess it’s just to feel human again, to feel the other side of things, to feel different, to feel sadness until I can’t feel it anymore later on.

Also because I wanted to be more real. Being real is honesty. Honesty paves way to much better things.

Thank you so much to those who extended their care for this lonely soul. I really appreciate all those.

This may be the first. But the first always has a last.

An enlightening Saturday to all!

~KRZ

How Was The First Week of 2013?

Welcome to 2013! Welcome to the first post for this year as well!

Today is Sunday here in the Philippines. It means that a week has already passed. How was the first week of 2013 so far? Let me share what happened in mine:

January 1

I started reading Didache, a daily Bible reflection guide for Catholics. Of course, I read one page a day and I just love it. I prefer this guide over Our Daily Bread because Didache is written and published by Filipinos. It’s time I support our very own.

Didache 2013

Also, my family and I attended the New Year Mass in our parish. It was a great start for me and my girls.

January 2

I fixed my things; I threw unnecessary stuff; and I found mementos of inspiration.

A note from one of my previous tutees. This made me laugh so hard! LOL!

Another note from a previous tutee

A thank-you note from my high school teacher when I became her substitute for our Teacher’s Week celebration

My mysterious high school yearbook entry. I still don’t know who wrote it but I love it so much.

In our high school yearbook, I was depicted as the girl who reads a book with a big smile (Illustration by Pauline Bongon)

***

After getting rid of clutter, I searched for job posts online. Being a reflecting and writing bum for half a month is enough. This time, I focused on what I really wanted to do. Thanks again to the constant reminders of two of my favorite bloggers and the inspirational mementos I found earlier.

After spotting two of my best targets, I reviewed, edited, and updated my resume. Oh, yeah, my picture there has to show my full bangs.

January 3

I went to National Statistics Office (NSO) to file some documents for the correction of my birth certificate. I so love my name; there shouldn’t be errors in my certificate of live birth.

Mama went with me to NSO. We passed by a banana cue vendor outside the office and I asked Mama if she wanted to eat some of those sweet bananas. I just remembered that Mama likes eating banana cue whenever we go to government offices. She didn’t answer. After our transaction in NSO, Mama said, “Tara, banana cue tayo.” (“Come on, let’s eat banana cue.”) Happily, we ate our banana cue while on our way to a photo studio where I had my ID picture taken.

Later that night, the pre-interview anxiety attacked me and I mentioned my anxiety word again, “Parang ayoko nang ituloy.”  (“I think I don’t want to continue anymore.”) I tried to rehearse what I’d say in front of the interviewer but doing that made me even anxious. Eventually, I went to sleep and clung to faith and fate.

January 4

I walked-in to a Korean online school with two friends and after all the waiting and all the stomach starving, we passed the recruitment process. In less than a day, we were hired and we’re starting tomorrow! I even saw one of my high school friends in the same building and eventually, I found out he works in the same school too! Small world, indeed!

Thank God, I am now an English instructor. Oh, yeah, did I just fulfill a dream? Hello, 2013!

January 5

I joined a charity dance workshop by a dance crew named Kinection at Kicks Dance Studio, where I got two free workshops just by donating a pair of dancing shoes (goodbye, Dunks!) and a couple of shirts for the fire victims in San Juan.

It was a great experience learning to dance again. I think the last time I joined a dance workshop was in September 2012. The pieces were beautiful and the choreographers were great. The problem was me! Hoho! I deeply apologize.  I actually had a hard time following the dance steps there because the dance style was not the usual style that I learned in college. But, of course, with all my might, I did my best to follow and finish the two workshops which should have been four sessions. I already went ahead after the second because I was so damn tired that I might collapse anytime! Haha! Aging, here it comes!

Waiting for the next session at Kicks Dance Studio

I bought Coke float and regular fries at McDonald’s after the workshop. I finished the float but I ended up packing the fries for takeout. I passed by a beggar while I walked toward the jeepney stop and, upon realizing that there were fries in my bag, I stopped and gave them to the beggar.

It felt good to dance again and at the same time be able to help the victims of fire. It felt even better when I was given the chance to give something to a beggar.

***

Later on, Mama and I went to buy groceries. Wow! I thought I was already tired.

We went to a supermarket and I was shocked because there were no carts available in the queue inside, just baskets. I had no choice but to carry one. In the middle of shopping, I just stopped at the center of a section, bent down, and put the basket on the floor. I complained, “Cart! Cart! Bakit kasi walang cart!” (“Cart! Cart! Why is there no cart!”) Hahaha! Would you imagine how foolish I sounded and looked like at the time? Hahaha! I couldn’t help myself because the tiredness already crept in. But then I picked up the basket again and smiled at Mama waiting at the end of that section.

“Mabigat na ba?” (“Is it already heavy?”) Mama asked.

“Ai hindi, keri ko pa, Ma!” (“Oh no, I still can carry it, Ma!”) I answered semi-sarcastically.

Wahahaha! There’s really something fun going to grocery stores with Mama. I just can’t explain it.

Tired feet but it’s all worth it!

***

The fifth of January ended with a very nice idea from a friend:

“Ako ang gagawa ng ikagaganda ng taon ko.” / “I am the one who will make my year beautiful.” –courtesy of Roy Villegas

I’m just super thankful how the first week of my 2013 became so blessed and full of beautiful insights. Thank You, Lord! This is a great and wonderful and fantastic start!

How was the first week of your 2013? Share in the comments.

~KRZ

Wrapping Up 2012: Thank You!!!

The year 2012 is ending and 2013 is coming! Wuhoo! What better way to end the year than to review what happened this 2012. Thanks to Chris Guillebeau’s Annual Review which I discovered recently. It’s actually a strategic model to remember and to plan.

Basically, the said model starts with the things that went well this year, followed by the things that didn’t go well. After manually listing the two areas of the year, you can now go ahead and plan for goals you want to achieve for next year.

Just this Wednesday, I started these two lists and I was overwhelmed with the results. God has really blessed me a lot because the list of things that went well was endless. I just couldn’t stop listing more. I had 41 detailed items (and counting) of the good list and only had a very few for the bad list. Guillebeau shared in his blog his two lists but, as for this blog of mine, let me focus on the wonderful, fantastic, and awesome blessings alone. Let me also give a new name for that list.

The List of Things I am Thankful for this 2012

1. The immediate healing of a supposedly major heartbreak at the start of 2012. Thanks to the soul mate, The Soul Mate, the rainbow, and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love.

2. My 3-part homecoming. This year, I was reunited with my birthplace (Laoag City), my alma mater (Miriam College), and my college dance troupe (C*CATT Street).

3. Rex moments (when I was still an editor for Rex Publishing): the Rex Sportsfest (the Blue Team cheerdance group where I belonged won 2nd place);

Go, Blue Team! (Photo courtesy of Paddy Pagcaliwagan)

the Publishing Convention (Go, Team na Maitim! LOL!); and the Company Outing (in Ocean Adventure in Subic where I had so much fun with workmates and my sister Keren)

Rex peeps in Subic: Find the girl in green, that’s me! (Photo by Christian Daroni)

4. Accomplishment of all editing projects with Rex Publishing (a textbook in Logic, in Investment Mathematics, and Economics) plus a Physics Teacher’s Resource Manual; accomplishment of editing two undergraduate theses of my friends as well (of course, with pay hehe)

5. Becoming part of the perky call center world with an Australian airline company. Although I was only there for 4 and a half months, I gained a lot of beautiful learning and insights.

With call center batch mates (Photo by Arthur de Guzman)

Our team!

6. Writing workshops I attended: Inkblot: The Essentials of Writing Fiction by Sining Bodega (where the idea of Between Love and Felicity started); and How to Make Money from Writing by Writer’s Block Philippines

With Inkblot instructor Jonathan Gulliermo (Photo by Michelle Maga)

7. Finishing Between Love and Felicity (BLF). If you haven’t read it yet, click here. And, oh, make sure you send me a comment after reading.

8. My writing idols and inspirations:

• Jeff Goins.With his book, You are a Writer, I was able to claim my title as a writer and revamp my FB page and this blog as well.

• Nina Terol-Zialcita. I was able to ponder in the next steps I’ll take for next year through her blog posts and was able tolearn more from her when I met her personally in a WBP workshop with her WBP sisters.

• Chris Guillebeau. His posts were also inspiring and, oh, thanks to him for this Annual Review model.

• Robert Lee Brewer. His blog Poetic Asides helped me in my poetry writing. I again enjoyed participating in the 2012 November PAD Chapbook Challenge.

• Joel M. Toledo. Of course! Sir Joel will forever be my poetry mentor. He was the one who guided me in the first steps to elevate my poetry writing in college and up until now, I still keep in mind his teachings and apply them when I write my pieces.

• AA Patawaran. He is the author of the book Write Here Write Now, which I just finished reading this month. It’s like a Philippine version of Goins’ You are a Writer but, of course, presented more creatively. I learned a lot from it and I was glad he even retweeted my tweet regarding the book.

9. Family moments: Talladen family reunion last April; Mama’s birthday celebration last March; Mother’s Day celebration last May; Divisoria dates with Mama and cousin Kaye whom I shared LOTS of laughter; Bourne Legacy movie date with Mama; morning walk with Mama by the Marikina Riverpark; random bonding with Mama and sisters in malls or wherever

My Girls, My Family (Taken at Palazzo de Laoag last February in my cousin’s debut)

10. Dancing moments: Decennium (C*CATT Street’s 10th anniversary last March at Crossroads 77 — performer), Power of Two (Mapua Makati DanceCom and Colegio de Sta. Rosa Phat Gurlz Crew’s Collaboration Concert last March at Colegio de Sta. Rosa Makati — audience); SWAG (Orange Dance Studio’s 11th Summer Funshop Concert last June at AFP Theater — audience), Glitter (Fox International’s Anthem School Tour in July at Miriam College — audience), Hip Hop Flow (Orange Dance Studio’s 11th Anniversary Concert last October at Tanghalang Pasigueno — performer and production staff), Beat It Up (Mapua Makati’s Concert and Dance Competition last November at Tanghalang Pasigueno — audience), and RX 93.1 Rhythm Street Dance Competition Year 11 this December at Robinson’s Place Manila (C*CATT Street was part of the finalists and I cheered for them!)

My last performer stance this year at ODS Hip Hop Flow Concert

11. Sports moments: my first ever UAAP live viewing at Smart Araneta Coliseum with ADMU vs. DLSU game (September 1, 2012); my first ever live viewing of an American football game at Marikina Sports Park with Juggernauts vs. Bandits

My friend Lyane and me at the UAAP game (Photo by Roy Villegas)

American football game at Marikina Sports Park

12. First time to complete Simbang Gabi or Misa de Gallo!

13. Overcoming fear and realizing happiness

14. My material blessings: my dual-sim phone; my laptop Sparkee, my iPhone 4 Sparkee Junior, my first year with contact lenses; Gloc-9′s MKNM Album; the full version of Microsoft Office (goodbye, Starter!); my favorite and latest pair of Nike shoes

With Sparkee and Sparkee Junior

WMNS Nike Capri II (taken using Instagram)

15. Knowing St. Jude Thaddeus as the patron saint of desperate hopes

St. Jude Thaddeus in this year’s Good Friday procession in our parish

16. Plays I’ve watched: Rooftop and Les Oublies (final projects of my sister’s Music class in Miriam College); Umaaraw, Umuulan, Kinakasal ang Tikbalang at Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theater in UP Diliman

With Galis, one of the characters in “Umaaraw, Umuulan, Kinakasal ang Tikbalang”

17. Films I’ve watched: the very funny Private Benjamin starring Vice Ganda; Bourne Legacy (featuring scenes shot here in the Philippines); the Japanese film Rurouni Kenshin; the Thai film SuckSeed

18. Moments with friends:

• Dinner, movie, and coffee dates, and Christmas party with my high school barkada
• Philippine National Fireworks Festival at Marikina Riverbanks and Tulong Dunong Christmas Party at Ateneo High School with high school friends
• A simple drinking night and a Christmas/New Year party with my college barkada

With high school friends in the TD Christmas Party in Ateneo High School

With my high school barkada at our green-themed Christmas party

With college friends in our Christmas party

19. Books I’ve read:

• Coraline by Neil Gaiman
• Bewitching by Alex Flinn
• Sundays at Tiffany’s by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet
• You are a Writer by Jeff Goins
• The Parvenu by Florentino Dauz
• The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker by Gilda Cordero-Fernando
• Write Here Write Now by AA Patawaran

20. Love and care from lots of people and from God Almighty!

And the list goes on. Can you please stop me? Haha! Well, you cannot!

My deepest, warmest, and heartfelt thankfulness, gratefulness, and gratitude to all of these! To You, oh God, and to ALL the people You used for all these happen… THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Happy New Year, everyone!

~Krizelle R. Talladen

The Keziah’s Birthday Wish (Introducing “Between Love and Felicity”)

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” –Maya Angelou

I’ve been itching to tell stories. And since my skin is getting worse due to redness (of course, I kid), get ready for this relatively long post. (Spare me, it’s my birthday month!)

Yesterday, 16th of December 2012, I celebrated my 23rd birthday. Oh yes! I am 23 years old now! Wuhoo! What better way to start my day than to attend the first day of the Misa de Gallo or Simbang Gabi! Although I lacked sleep that Saturday evening, I still managed to wake up early and rush to our parish church and be surprised with the overwhelmingly large number of people, especially children and teenagers. Some were already outside up until the patio.

I didn’t want to hear Mass outside the church so I sneaked inside the sardines of attendees and, realizing I couldn’t get a seat anymore, I found my spot at the back part beside a statue of a saint. At first, I didn’t know who the saint was. But eventually, I was delighted to know that it was the image of St. Jude Thaddeus, my favorite saint, the patron of desperate hopes. “Ha! Perfect! We’re really meant to be,” I said to myself. (I remember wondering to a friend the night before how things could be related to each other. Everything happens for a reason, eh?)

When I got home, I opened the Bible and searched for the book of Job, where Mama got my name and my sisters’. Specifically, it is in Job Chapter 42. This is also where I based the name of this blog—Turtle Keziah. I always consider Keziah the origin of my name, which means precious perfume (the reason for my blog tagline).

Verses 13-14: “…he had…three daughters, of whom he called the first Jemimah,
the second Keziah, and the third Kerenhappuch.”

“Job’s daughters had names symbolic of their charms: Jemimah, dove; Keziah, precious perfume…”

I also read Our Daily Bread, a daily Bible guide, and of course, prayed the Prayer to St. Jude Thaddeus. For the longest time now, reading Our Daily Bread and praying the Prayer to St. Jude have been my routine every morning. I feel incomplete somehow when I couldn’t do both.

After spending some time in front of Sparkee and replying to all greetings as well as on SMS, I slept. Yup! I just slept and rested, thinking I should make up from all the sleep I’d been losing.

Later that day, Mama and my two sisters helped each other to cook spaghetti for me. It was indeed just a simple and quiet celebration but it meant a lot.

Spaghetti for my birthday!!!!

Then, my elder sister asked me, “Kring, ano’ng wish mo?” (“Kring, what’s your wish?”) That question actually shocked me because I didn’t know what to answer her. I knew I prayed for something while I was in the church but I thought I hadn’t been specific. I told her about what I prayed in the Mass and what I posted in FB the day before: “My wish is for all my dreams to come true.” Ate May wasn’t satisfied with my answer. She said it had to be a wish for the day. Well, I just smiled at her and said nothing.

Obviously, I really didn’t have a birthday wish. I had a birthday wish before but I thought it to be soooo ridiculously impossible and selfish as well. But, yup, as I person who is jobless right now and who is in the stage of fixing her life and planning her next year, I really pray, hope, and wish that all my dreams will come true.

#BLF

This leads me to share one of the urgent dreams that I wish to reach (when I say urgent, I mean ASAP). That is to give everyone a copy of my attempt to a fictional piece. I admit, as a writer, that writing fiction (a short story or novel) is my number one weakness. But inspired by the writing workshop that I attended last May 2012, I tried my best to fabricate my story.

I actually plan to give some of my friends a copy of the manuscript by yesterday but, with all apologies, I am not yet done although I’m already near the end. I’ve been telling myself of my deadline but, again sorry, I wasn’t able to make it.

But then, since I am determined to reach this dream, I will do my best to finish it by this week. Should I make a promise? Hoho! I’m in for a challenge. All righty!

Let me give everyone a teaser then. The story is entitled Between Love and Felicity. I’ve been using the hash tag #BLF in some of my tweets containing one-line excerpts from it. Well, this is it, friends—the mystery behind the hash tag. It’s the title of my story which will be in full blown version soon (really, really soon).

The story is basically about Aldrin, a guy who wants to move on from his secret crazy past and live normally. Eventually, he thinks he has moved on. But in his “normal” life, he encounters Felicity who reminds him so much of that secret past. He tries to battle it out but he keeps on losing. He has to choose. What is a man to do in this confusion? Soon!

What is so weird, disturbing, and at the same time interesting about this story is that there are some events and details in it that took place and I’ve known about in reality long after I’ve written them. That’s why I was really wondering about how things could be so connected to each other, why ideas and reality would be the same. Why have I written them first before they actually happened? The answer is I don’t know. Just like my birthday wish, it cannot be specific.

Well, we will all see. As for any fictional work, everything is a coincidence with reality. But for me who believes that everything happens for a reason, I will just have to stand by and watch out. Again, this is just an attempt, a dream that I want to share and be read by anyone. It might not be as polished as the published ones in the book store but I still hope to get as much feedback for improvement.

Thanks again to all those who greeted me on my special day! Please tune in for more of BLF!

~KRZ

A Poem for Sabre 8

When I said goodbye to the publishing company where I worked before, I wrote a poem and made a photo slideshow video. Last Friday, 14 December 2012, before I finally bid farewell to the floor as a customer service representative of an Australian airline company, I left my batch mates a poem. You see, I hate saying goodbye and I really couldn’t express how I feel in these situations. Thank God, there’s art. There’s a way. The poem goes like this:

The four-walled planet
Set in high temperature
Arranged like that of a classroom
Is where we all started

Each mind, empty or filled
was introduced to a new culture
of new systems, processes, lingos

For two months, that’s the setting
Mixed with laughter and talking
Games that hype the sleepy
Green jokes that tickles the belly
Of men and women
And those in between

Then on the floor, we learned even more
The things to do and must not
That H should be heich
That Z should be zed
That everything must always be
Fantastic, Wonderful, Great!

Some have left, some have stayed
Some have goals and some are upgraded
But for all of us, the moment is great

When we gather as one

May it be training or outside the office
To eat, to travel, or to just go home together

What I’ll never forget though is
The word I never knew back then
The word that I learned to use with them
A state of energy and happiness
To be perky, that is.

Imparted in me as well
Are the importance of time
And the real meaning of
Teamwork

For four months and a half, these guys,
Filled with diverse personalities
Like a pizza overloaded with toppings
Like the sky filled with stars and comets
Like SkySpeed and Sabre
With all the codes and hot keys;

Also our mothers and fathers, our guides;
Our brothers and sisters, our friends;
As well as the scammer and the serious,
The bumblebee and the Chinese,
The pretty little lady, and the ones after her,
Who have honed us into
Who we are today,

Have inspired me in so many ways
They might not know.
So here is my expression of
My greatest gratitude
My deepest thanks
My warmest gratefulness

From the floor to the outside world,
I bid my farewell,
Promising to remember, never forget
The batch that’s called Sabre 8.

Krizelle R. Talladen

My Week of Realizations Part 4: The Truth About Me

More than a week ago, 24 of November to be exact, I attended the very timely workshop of Writer’s Block Philippines (WBP) called “How to Make Money from Writing” held at Fully Booked Bonifacio High Street. I described it as timely because as I’ve mentioned in Part 3 of this series, I already decided to leave my current job to follow my passion. And as I also mentioned there, with the help of two of my favorite bloggers, I was able to ponder on what really makes me happy and what I’m passionate about. In the end, I came up with two words: writing and teaching.

In The Forum: Ms. Nikka Sarthou comments on a participant’s business plan

At first, I was scared. I have attended a writing workshop before in the same venue and so I already know the place but on my way there that afternoon, it felt like I was going for the first time. Maybe because the organizers were different and also because I expected a different group of people (not mostly students like in the previous workshop I attended there). Surprisingly, the fear was eased when I got to the registration table and a lady in a red blazer asked for my name, recognized me as the girl who reads her blog (because I usually like her posts or comment on them), gave me a hug, and introduced me to the other lady beside her who happen to be Nikka Sarthou, one of the founders of WBP as well. In my head, I’m like, “OMG! This is Nina Terol-Zialcita! OMG!!! Just WOW!” My smile was super wide and I just couldn’t believe that was how the afternoon started for me. I was so starstruck! I was even more surprised when she asked me if I’m related to Neva Talladen. Wow! She also knows my cousin and she knows about Ate Neva’s Leyende. What a small world, indeed!

The workshop started amazing. Ana Santos, Nikka Sarthou, and Nina Terol-Zialcita, the three founders of WBP, shared their experiences, insights, and tips on becoming a creative entrepreneur. I realized that if these women have done it, why can’t I? And why not start as early as now?

One of the tips I found very important is to have back up funds. I remember the Bank of the Philippine Islands seminar we had in the office this year which encouraged me to save and have discipline with money. When I heard that back up funds are needed in order to be a creative entrepreneur, I realized that I must really get serious with saving money.

In the latter part of the workshop, furthermore, we were asked to do our own creative entrepreneur’s business plan. The first part of it was what I liked most which was to answer the question “What can you do better than anyone else?” At first, I just stared at my worksheet and laughed at myself that I really couldn’t answer the question easily. So to help myself, I listed down all the things I can do. With my list, I realized that I can write and edit as well. I read and write poetry and I also had some knowledge and experience with hip hop dancing. I also have this exceptional patience, passion, and perkiness (3 Ps!) to do and to teach what I do as well.

Moreover, I realized that I have versatility, efficiency, and positivity basing on how I actually dealt with my work experiences. I also remembered how some people who know I write are surprised to know I dance. My fellow hip hop dancers and some people who know I dance are shocked as well to know that I write and read poetry. These memories reminded me of my realizations after watching Mapua Makati DanceCom’s “Beat It Up” Concert last week as shared in Part 1 of this series and that is to realize how it is to be in another perspective, in the audience watching and not being watched.

With the things I jotted down on my paper plus the realizations I had with Mapua’s concert and the sharing of Nikka Sarthou about filling a gap in the market, I thought of coming up with a channel where Filipino poets and hip hop dancers would be featured and highlighted.  Poetry and hip hop dancing may be different but they can be appreciated as one art. I am a poet and I am a hip hop dancer. I was able to equally appreciate both and I wish everyone would do the same. I just feel like the youth today has more appreciation for hip hop dance but not as much appreciation on poetry. As I’ve mentioned in a Facebook status before:

“You don’t have to understand poetry. You just have to enjoy the play of words and be honest on how it made you feel after reading.”

So how am I going to do it? Maybe another blog can be the start. But let’s see what I will be able to build. This is just a plan. Like what Nina said in the workshop, “if it doesn’t work, it’s called experience.” Now that’s so very positive!

Through the workshop, I realized a lot of what I can do and so I came up with the poem Truth About Me which I posted here in T.K. previously. But aside from calling myself an optimistic word dancer, I can also be the writeacher or wordancer. Now those are real play of words and I love it!

Moreover, the workshop gave me the chance to buy a book for my mother as a Christmas gift and peace offering (I mentioned a misunderstanding we had in Part 2 of this series). It’s called Happy Even After by Ana Santos and it is a journal-like book for solo moms. Of course, after the workshop, I bravely requested for her to wait for me as I bought the book right there in Fully Booked and so I could have her sign it. I was a bit teary eyed when she was signing it. I mentioned to her that Mama is also a solo mother like her. She gave me a hug when I said goodbye and she wished that Mama would like it. I really hope she does when I give it to her this Christmas. I am so excited!

“Happy Even After” by Ana Santos

Ms. Ana’s message for Mama

Thank you so much, WBP! I’m looking forward to the next workshop!

There you go, a four-part series of interrelated and interconnected events, proving that everything has meaning and purpose. I hope you learned from my sharing and realized a lot of things as well. It’s December by the way and so HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone!

~KRZ